We Have A Sarcastic Doctor

Rachelle's sitting on the exam table, her legs hanging down over the edge. The doctor walks in:

"Hey, whose feet are those?" he asks. "Those aren't your feet, are they?"

For the record: Rachelle is well-aware that her feet swell when she's expecting, and she's doubly-aware of it this time around. In fact, she's uncomfortable all over, and is quite ready to let this pregnancy be a thing of the past.

"Okay, let's negotiate," states Rachelle, who's been preparing for this moment for days. "We're supposed to take these babies out at thirty-eight weeks and one or two days. I think thirty-six weeks is just fine, and we should just reschedule for two weeks from now."

He gives her a look. "So you're saying that I should sign off on your having premature twins?"

"Well, when you put it that way... but listen. These kids are practically coming out already. My pelvis feels like it's breaking in half."

"Good, two pelvises, one for each baby."

"I bet that's never happened before! You could publish a paper about it."

"How about we just keep the pelvis intact and deliver healthy babies?"

"Fine, we stick with one pelvis. But what about my skin? My skin is breaking apart!"

"Your skin is breaking apart?" Rachelle nods and points at her belly. He goes over to look at it.

"Or," he says, "we could call those stretch marks."